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The Most Outrageous “Business” Expenses We’ve Ever Seen
Company owners can be a cheeky bunch. We get it, you want to keep that tax bill as low as legally possible. But sometimes the creativity we see when clients hand over their receipts is next‑level. Here are a few of the funniest (and most eyebrow‑raising) “business” expenses that HMRC has firmly booted into the reject pile.
Wait… You Tried to Claim What?
- 🐾 A pet llama. Apparently meant to be a “brand mascot”. Nice try, livestock upkeep doesn’t count unless you’re actually farming.
- 💇♀️ Hair extensions and hair pieces. Personal grooming isn’t deductible every day, even if you’re on camera.
- 🛑 Full‑blown plastic surgery. “Self‑improvement” isn’t a business category.
- 🍼 An adult‑baby nursery set‑up. We didn’t even ask… HMRC certainly wouldn't approve.
- 🥋 A karate teacher’s… um… sex toy. Not exactly essential for karate training.
- 👜 A Louis Vuitton ‘laptop’ bag. When the bag cost is excessive and possibly costing more than the laptop, it raises questions.
- 🐕 Pet cremation. Heart‑breaking, yes. Allowable, no.
- ✈️ A Turkish hair transplant, plus flights, hotel and kebabs. “It’ll get me more work” isn’t enough justification.
- 🛏️ A luxury king‑size bed. The director said he “can’t function without a good night’s sleep”. HMRC wasn’t moved.
- 🦷 Routine dentist appointments. Healthy teeth are important, but still personal.
The “Wholly and Exclusively” Rule (AKA HMRC’s Litmus Test)
HMRC only allows an expense if it’s wholly and exclusively for the purpose of running your business. In plain English: would you have spent this money if you didn’t run the business? If the answer’s “no”, you’re probably safe. If you’re even hesitating, pick up the phone before you pick up the receipt.
A couple of quick examples:
- Laptop for your designer: Yup, that’s wholly and exclusively business.
- Laptop‑shaped Louis Vuitton clutch: Nope, it’s an accessory, not equipment.
Simple, right? Yet every year HMRC publishes fresh lists of rejected claims because the rule was ignored.
When “Pricey” Becomes “Never in a Million Years”
Even genuine business item can be binned if it looks excessive:
If the taxman thinks you’re splashing out purely for luxury, they’ll either cap the claim to a “reasonable” amount or refuse it altogether.
Why Spot‑On Bookkeeping Matters
Keeping tidy books isn’t just about neat spreadsheets, it’s legal protection. Correct categorisation and solid evidence mean:
- Lower chance of errors (and fines).
- Less time lost scrambling for missing paperwork.
- Peace of mind if HMRC ever knocks on the door.
How Blue Rocket Accounting Keeps You Compliant (and Smiling)
- Proactive guidance. We’ll tell you what’s allowable before you click “add to basket”.
- Jargon‑free support. Accounting chat you can actually understand.
- HMRC Investigation Protection. Our fee‑protection service covers our costs if HMRC pokes around.
- Full‑service offering. From limited company accounts and VAT to payroll, Bookkeeping, CIS and management accounts - sorted.
Want to claim with confidence and sleep easy at night? Drop us a line.
Want to read more fun business blogs?
We think you’ll find the below blogs quite helpful:
Can You Claim Golf as a Business Expense? [Free Guide Inside] | Blue Rocket
Funniest Business Names Around Kent and The South-East | Blue Rocket
Is My Office Dog a Business Expense? | Blue Rocket
It’s not rocket science, it’s just great accounting.
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